I have returned!
Where did I go? Mostly the pits of my own depression. I have been dealing with health issues, life changes, and a myriad of other things which periodically cause my ugly, self-hating monster to rear and drive me back into a deep, dark cave of loathsome isolation from time to time. I am venturing, ever so cautiously, back into the sun again.
Lots has happened. My health has been steadily declining for the past 2 years, and I find it more and more taxing to perform labor tasks around the property. Mowing and keeping up with home maintenance is quickly growing beyond my physical abilities. So, my husband and I decided to give up on home ownership and embrace the more worry-free apartment living option.
My house was for sale. We were moving. Preparations had begun. I was happy to be moving on to the next stage of life and looking forward to focusing on my health.
Suddenly, it wasn’t for sale anymore and I was left in limbo questioning what life had in store next. After spending too much on a new roof and attempts to make the property more appealing, we started over and the house was for sale again. Signed a contract, packed all our belongings, put 90% of what we owned in storage, made inquiries on rental projects in what we thought would be our next city.
Sale fell through. The sudden destruction of all our plans had me feeling more than a little blue. I had been ready to leave this house for over a year now. It’s fine. Adequate space, non-threatening neighborhood, no reason for me to be ungrateful about it at all. But it also happens to be built right next to a wheat silo (a fact I was not aware of when we bought it and is entirely my fault) that has seriously, negatively impacted me as a sufferer of Celiac. Skin rashes, digestive issues, mood swings, insomnia, and a host of other symptoms from being constantly exposed to a source of inflammation. On those rare occasions I’m not in constant discomfort, I’m afraid to leave my house in case I have an uncontrollable flare-up. It is becoming more and more dire I move.
Finally, a solution!
Realizing the housing market simply will not tolerate my mediocre offering, my husband and I decided to rent the house out to allow me to at least move away from the offending silo. It will force us to stay in town and put any dreams of paying off debt on the backburner, but at least I may be given a chance to finally get my health back in some semblance of balance. The new residents arrive in August, and I will hopefully be very happily encased in a little apartment with no wheat to breathe and no grass to mow.
My spirits have been adequately lifted since signing the rental agreement with my tenants, and I am again dragging myself out of the doldrums and coaxing the creative juices to flow. I’m still working on Dead Dreams (ugh, it is so daunting. The project has become my arch nemesis, but I am determined to finish it one day), as well as planning and drafting some short stories for submissions.
Stay tuned for more updates, especially as we draw closer to July’s Camp Nanowrimo.